Best Little Whore House in Hogsmeade
by bob-the-blue
Summary: Complete. Luna Lovegood runs the greatest brothel in the world. What happens when Percy Weasley tries to shut her down? Set in my PimpHarryverse.


**A/N: This takes place in the PIMPHARRYverse, just no actual appearance made by Harry. Hope you enjoy.**

It has been a few years since Harry had put a final end to the temper tantrum that was Tom Riddle's war on the Wizarding world. In that time, peace and flourished.

Luna Lovegood loved her job. She was the Madame of the world's greatest brothel. At least, her and just about every visitor thought it was the best brothel. Harry had decided to open his own pleasure palace, operating under his philosophies, and he had put Luna in charge.

The little house sat on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. It looked like a quaint little home. But like so many wizarding and time lord structures, it was bigger on the inside then out. Inside, were dozens of rooms which behaved in a similar, but lesser, fashion as the Room of Requirement. Each room became whatever the client needed to experience ultimate pleasure. It also helped that Luna had a horny pack of Veela and Metamorphs working for her, who put their all into customer satisfaction.

Luna herself didn't often directly interact with the customers. Usually only when there was some extremely kinky or 'odd' request made that none of the girls were willing to do. There was nothing Luna wasn't willing to do. Nothing. Of course, this had both positive and negative affects on her life. She loved work, and had a great career. Her personal life, that was another story. But she made up for the lack of real companionship with good friendships and hobbies.

One of those hobbies she happened to be engaging in yesterday. Luna was sitting behind her desk typing on an old fashioned typewriter. She was wearing no clothes, but did have a wand tucked behind one ear, and pencil behind the other. Luna was humming to herself as she typed away about her latest sexual escapade. She sold her true stories as fiction. They were best sellers in the erotic section, in both the muggle and wizardign worlds.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting Luna from writing about the threesome she had with Harry and Gabby Potter, or as they were in her story Dan and Emma Granger. Luna couldn't resist clichés.

"Come in." said Luna. One of her best girls, a blonde named Tiffany walked in, followed by Percy Weasley.

"A Mr. Weasley from the Ministry is here to see you Ma'am." Said the girl. Percy walked to right in front of Luna's desk. It was only when he stopped that he noticed she was naked. He blushed red and started darting his eyes around the room, trying hard not to look at the naked blonde.

"Hello Percival, how are things at the Ministry these days? I do so hope that our new Minister isn't taking up the bad habits of predecessors and started baking goblins into pies."

"Yes, things are going well. Er…no pie baking that I'm aware of. Do you know why I'm here today Luna?"

"I hope it's not because of those rumors floating around about us doing maniac massage Monday. If that is the case, I apologize for you getting your hopes up. I honestly don't know how these rumors start." Yes she did. Usually Neville would make up some random ideas and talk loudly about them when he's in public. It's why Luna took him for walks down the Alley shortly after 4:20 each afternoon.

"No. I'm here because to shut your business down. It's a house of sin, and the Ministry will not stand for such a plight on our society." Luna gave Percy a look over, as if he were poo she was seeing for the first time. "And could you please put some clothes on?" he asked. Luna shook her head no, which caused her breasts to sway a little bit, mesmerizing Percy slightly.

"Then why hasn't the Ministry shut us down in the few years that we've been open? We've been offering services here in Hogsmeade since I graduated."

"I don't know." Said the uptight red head.

"Would you like to know?" said the spacey blonde, who was doing her daily kegal exercises.

"Not that it really matters, but do enlighten me."

"First, do you know who owns this place?"

"Of course. Harry Potter owns this business. But I am not afraid of Potter. I've known him since he was a first year at Hogwarts."

"You've known him that long, and you're not scarred of him? I'm not sure if that's bravery or gross stupidity. I guess time will tell. But are you so certain you should be picking a fight with such an iconic figure in our society?"

"Like I said, I'm not afraid of Potter."

"Not even when he's doing nothing illegal?"

"What do you mean?" Percy asked. Luna sighed and stood up from her desk. This gave Percy a view of Luna's hairless split. Luna was completely shaved, ready for landing. Luna walked over to her bookshelf and pulled out a large tome. She set it on the desk and opened it to an earmarked page.

"The law passed by the Ministry in 1780 makes it completely legal to use house elves as prostitutes. If memory serves, the law was passed to make up for the lack of rape victims…er, I mean escorts…girls from the colonies."

"What does that have to do with this whore house?" asked Percy.

"Have you ever given a house elf Polyjuice Percy?" Luna asked, shutting the large tome and putting it back on the shelf. She made sure to wiggle her ass at Percy as she walked away from him carrying the book. Percy made a move to hide the growing excitement in his robes.

"No. I have not."

"Then you might not know that the affects last a lot longer on a house elf then on a human. And as you mentioned, this place is owned by Harry Potter. Who has a lot of female friends."

It only took a second for Percy to get what Luna was trying to say. "Who all knows about what you do?"

Luna moved to stand next to Percy, pressing her naked body against him. "I'm pretty sure most people know what we……do here Percy." Luna emphasized 'do' as sensually as she could.

"Um…I really should be going now. It seems I was mistaken in thinking that anything illegal was happening here. Good day Miss Lovegood." Percy bolted out of the office.

"Wow, he's even more repressed then I remember."

A moment later, Tiffany walked back into the room.

"How'd you get rid of this one boss."

"I've known Percy Weasley my entire life. I learned how to tell him what he wants to hear. That is the key to our business you know, making the customer believe what you want them to believe."

"I know. But what did you make him believe?"

"Well, he may or may not have gotten the impression that all of the girls working her are polyjuiced house elves." Tiffany raised an eyebrow.

"He really believes that?" Luna nodded.

"He is Ron's brother after all."

"Ah."


End file.
